The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Creating game materials? Monsters, spells, classes, adventures? This is the place!
Seven
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Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Seven »

Page 6. (still on the old document)

2. "The tallest of the three"

There are clearly 4 goblins.

"Telgi likes to stick close to her little brother Thagak, switching to melee to defend him."

Might want to give her a melee weapon.
Nycto
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Joined: Wed Aug 16, 2017 7:34 am

Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Nycto »

Here's r10 with corrections to one of the four goblins as well as some wording corrections and addition of further missing info on dungeon monsters!
Seven
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Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Seven »

Page 8.

4. Map Room

It would be better to reverse the description. Focus on the monsters who attack on sight. Describe the room after. Generally, if a room has aggressive monsters, try to keep the boxed text as short as possible. There's 3 beastmen sitting around a table and they're screaming and reaching for their weapons. The iron door here is more important than the map because reinforcements could be coming through it.

Once the fighting is done, I'd like more details about the map. How big is it? What is it made of? Any features that catch the eye?

I'd put more details about the door also. I'd require the usage of the magic gauntlets found later to have even a chance to force it open. A knock spell or a pick lock roll would of course do the job as well.
Nycto
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Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Nycto »

R11 contains wording fixes in the map room following Seven's suggestions. The description now focuses on the immediate danger first rather than how the room looks. It also contains a damage threshold to the iron door leading to Rary's Suite, should the party fail to pick the lock.
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chiisu81
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Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by chiisu81 »

r11 moved to first post, along with adding a PDF version
Seven
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Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Seven »

8. The Maw.

I guess the party is supposed to find a way down the 20 feet.
Would the goblins have some knowledge of the area?
Seven
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Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Seven »

Second floor. 3. Grindway

So, the colored area represents the low ceiling?

5. Boneyard

Here the brown area represents water.

There should probably be an entry for a description if the players access the flooded zone 6 from the north.

Heart of Woe

I would have put a penalty on saving throw as well.

Reaper of the wind

So, does the standard 1-10 pole arm damage with no bonus but counts as a magical weapon?

Shadow of the past

The urge to strike at the living gradually spreads through this black iron sword?
You can most likely reword that better.

"craves the essence of creatures slain at its edge."

Maybe by its edge?

So what's the stats of the sword if the wraith is killed?
Normal +0 but counts as a magical sword?

Well, that was very good.
Nycto
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Joined: Wed Aug 16, 2017 7:34 am

Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Nycto »

Thank you so much for your feedback, Seven, you've helped immensely. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Here's the R12 odt with some wording corrections and added mechanics to some of the magic items.
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chiisu81
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Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by chiisu81 »

r12 uploaded to first post, along with a PDF copy.
Please do the same for future releases (I also had to edit/correct title page, still had "Release 4")
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chiisu81
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Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by chiisu81 »

Is this adventure too large for AA4?
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