The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Creating game materials? Monsters, spells, classes, adventures? This is the place!
Nycto
Posts: 23
Joined: Wed Aug 16, 2017 7:34 am

Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Nycto »

Hey, sorry I've been gone for a bit.
Is there something else I should be doing now?
User avatar
Solomoriah
Site Admin
Posts: 12453
Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2008 8:15 pm
Location: LaBelle, Missouri
Contact:

Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Solomoriah »

Projects stall from time to time, it's kind of normal since none of us are paid to be here.

Chi, what are the next steps if any with this one?
My personal site: www.gonnerman.org
Seven
Posts: 836
Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2020 11:17 am

Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Seven »

Page 2.

"As deadly as it is remote, Few willingly travel into those eternally autumnal
trees without ample protection."

Few shouldn't be capitalized.

"The players will track through the menacing acres of the Red Weald to then delve
deep into the earth searching for Vandr’s salvation
in Rary’s Deep."

Note sure about "track". Maybe it was meant to be "trek"?
Nycto
Posts: 23
Joined: Wed Aug 16, 2017 7:34 am

Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Nycto »

Thank you, Seven, I would have missed that completely. Updated and submitted here.
"Few" on page 2 now lower case. "Track" on page 2 now says "trek", which is much more appropriate.
Seven
Posts: 836
Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2020 11:17 am

Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Seven »

Page 3

"and one can be at peace with their families"

Singular and plural. Maybe "one can be at peace with one's family" ?

"Should one be evil, they are said to be reborn as ravening wolves or other hateful beasts, otherwise cast into a world of cold and dark called Magg."

Same idea. Maybe just "The evil ones are said ..."

"Her brother Kell works as both as a cook and a guard inside the tavern."

Should be "as both a cook and a guard" or maybe "both as a cook and as a guard".
Seven
Posts: 836
Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2020 11:17 am

Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Seven »

Page 4.

Kell is a Fighter 1 with 15 hp.

I guess you need to make him a Fighter 2.
Seven
Posts: 836
Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2020 11:17 am

Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Seven »

Page 5.

Redcloak has an AB bonus value but nobody else has one.

Bottom of the page. "They don’t silver weapons".

Missing the verb.
Nycto
Posts: 23
Joined: Wed Aug 16, 2017 7:34 am

Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Nycto »

R8 odt
various grammar and wording issues fixed.
Attack Bonuses added to Vandr NPCs.
Kell's HP reduced to fit his level.

Thanks a ton, Seven, this is great.
Seven
Posts: 836
Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2020 11:17 am

Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Seven »

Page 6.

Consider expending the random encounter table.
I image the players could spend a lot of time exploring.
Every encounter should have a number of creatures. It doesn't have to be the range in the books. Ideally, the behaviour/reaction/goal of each monster would be described. In some instances there could be a range of possible reactions. Stat lines for each monsters would be icing on the cake.

For the mound, there should be a map of what a mound looks like. Could be 1, 2, 3 chambers. I imagine the royal mounds could look different.
In this case, it's okay if they are all the same. I imagine that the 1d8 skeletons mentioned are undead. The untouched mounds have plain non animated skeletons inside? Type H seems very generous. I'd recommend using the unguarded treasure table from page 131 instead and I wouldn't go over level 1 or 2 since several of those could be found.
Finally, I'm not sure what a beastman is.
Nycto
Posts: 23
Joined: Wed Aug 16, 2017 7:34 am

Re: The Hunt For Rary's Deep

Post by Nycto »

r9 odt
Modifications made to some wording and treasure found in barrows.
Attack Bonuses and Hit Dice missing on some encounters in the dungeon. Those have been added.
Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Jandar and 43 guests