This subforum is for discussion of the Iron Falcon Rules for Classic Fantasy Role-Playing. Maybe someday they'll have their own forum, but for now I'm keeping the discussion here.
TPFox wrote: ↑Wed Aug 18, 2021 9:55 am
6) Page 93 - Clarity - It might be clearer to refer to the next page as the table is not "below."
Original (NPC Encounters): "The table below can be used to determine the magic items an NPC party is equipped with."
Change: "The Table below" ---> "The first table on the next page"
Okay, having looked I see that the table is indeed "below" in the traditional sense, i.e. following the paragraph where it's mentioned. That this falls onto another page is unfortunate. But I'm not going to add a page number reference, as it is at most one page down. Rather I'm changing the word from "below" to "following" to make it more clear. (Also, adding an automatic page number reference for a table is not directly possible, and manual references are a hard pass for me.)
I have applied the changes, but I don't have time for a flow pass this morning so I'll hopefully upload a new R54 tonight. Thanks!
By the way, do not take my disagreements as an indictment of your work, nor as any indication I'm unhappy with you. This is how we do editing. Don't take it personally, please. I'm always willing to accept useful criticism, and I'm not offended at all.
I like the use of "following" rather than "below".
I may have time in the near future to do another reading/editing pass for Iron Falcon, after working on AA3 and such. I'll let others hash anything else out first.
Dimirag wrote: ↑Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:31 pm
It may be just me, but this part of the second paragraph explains it concisely and clearly
Characters With Multiple Classes wrote:
The player should roll the hit points for each class separately; whichever total is highest is the one which is to be used as the character's actual hit point total
I would put the example as a new paragraph as it explains a little of everything and not just the level limit part.
So just to be clear at this point, this suggestion is all you guys are asking for with regards to multiclass hit points, right?
Yes from me, it seems HP management may get tricky for some people, I thought a little more clarification wouldn't hurt.
Two corrections that I suggested don't appear in r54:
1) page 101 - "Arrows of Slaying: This arrows is enchanted to instantly kill a type of monster on a successful hit."
2) page 131 - "Healing: The sword can heal its wielder, restoring up to 6 points per day at a rate of 1 point per every six turns (one hour)."
"Per every" appears to be a phrase that is used; however, I feel it is a little redundant.
Change: "1 point per every six turns (one hour)." ---> "1 point every six turns (one hour)."
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On page 9, I mentioned clarity issues with calculating HP (see the section on Characters With Multiple Classes). This is a longer example I wrote up (but it will have issues fitting into the space provided on page 9):
"For example, consider Garrus the Dwarf Fighter/Thief, who has average ability scores (meaning his ability scores do not modify his experience points or hit point rolls). At 64,000 total experience points (32,000 per class), Garrus is a 6th level Fighter and a 6th level Thief. He has rolled 6 eight-sided dice of hit points for his Fighter class (for a total of 27) and 6 four-sided dice of hit points for his Thief class (for a total of 17). Not surprisingly the Fighter total is higher here (the average is 27 for a 6th level Fighter, 15 for a 6th level Thief). At 100,000 total XP he becomes a 7th level Thief; he would normally become a 7th level Fighter at 140,000 total XP, but he has already reached his limit as a Fighter and so cannot gain further benefits from that class. So far the actual hit points used for the character Garrus equals 27 hit points. Note though that even if Garrus rolls 4 more hit points for the Thief class at 7th level, the total Thief hit points will be less than 27 (in this case only 19 hit points). The total hit point total for the Thief class must be greater than 27 for Garrus to gain in hit points again. It is possible then that Garrus may not gain more hit points until he reaches 14th level as a Thief; the average for a Thief of that level is 27.5 hit points (based on an average of 2.5 hit points per d4 die rolled for Thief hit points)."
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Finally, my general feeling now looking over r54 is that the game would really benefit from more pictures to truly make it the best retroclone of the early books. There is blank space on several pages. I don't know the preferred approach for this project - community pictures or using pictures from the public domain. But I think the game book would look much better with several more.
The following pages have blank space where pictures could be added:
5-6, 8-9, 13, 19, 21-22, 33-37, 39, 42-48, 50-54, 56-58, 60-63, 65-74, 76-81, 83-92, 94, 96, 98, 100-101, 124-127
Last edited by TPFox on Wed Aug 25, 2021 8:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
I thought I had fixed those first two items... in fact, I remember fixing the second. Oh well, fixed again.
As to the example, I've expanded it, but not exactly as you've suggested. Unless I'm willing to spend a whole page on it, I can't make it much clearer.
And yes, I'm aware of the white space in the book. But it looks better, in my opinion, to leave it blank than to use illustrations that are not well chosen for the book. As I find public domain art that works, I use it. I don't have a budget to buy art for this book, not yet anyway, and I'd rather not do art than do it badly.
The link on the Iron Falcon site shows r53, not r54. Also, the link does not work.
But.... the post above by chiisu81 that says, "The actual link works, but the page still shows r53." brings you to an older version of r54 without the latest revisions...