CS2 The Dark Temple

Creating game materials? Monsters, spells, classes, adventures? This is the place!
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AlMan
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Re: The Dark Temple CONTEST ENTRY THREAD

Post by AlMan »

MinkyBoodle wrote: Mon Sep 16, 2019 3:38 am And yet, I fail to accurately look over my own work.
Over the years of writing computer instructions and working on the projects here, I've found that editing your own work is the hardest thing to do. Your brain knows what you want to say and just fills in missing words or overlooks mistakes that you could easily find in another person's work.

I know that when I was doing my list of my own mistakes above, I found another 4 or 5 misspellings, even after going over the adventure multiple times before this.
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Bumblepig
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Re: The Dark Temple CONTEST ENTRY THREAD

Post by Bumblepig »

Thanks, I did take a look at what you and MinkyBoodle had done and that's what made me double-check my interpretation. Thanks for posting your stuff. I like that there's a good spread of levels between the different adventures (mine is geared toward lower levels). My thing isn't ready for primetime yet but I'm getting there.
AlMan wrote: Sun Sep 15, 2019 7:57 pm Bumblepig, as far as the wall in room 33 is concerned, I ignored it in the text of my adventure. If pressured I would say it was a railing, the priestess or priest would go down the right side and the captain down the left into the lower sanctuary. Its all a part of the complications of doing an introduction to a Sea Dragon. I made a similar thing with the door to Room 19, in my adventure it is more of a cupboard built into the wall, this is why it is harder to detect (1 on 1d10), some one else may have it as a full door, that is the way I read the entry from MinkyBoodle. It is your adventure, make it what you want. Download the adventures to see what I'm talking about. I look forward to seeing your entry and all the others.
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AlMan
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Re: The Dark Temple CONTEST ENTRY THREAD

Post by AlMan »

Yes, I found more mistakes as I was preparing my list last night.

Replace all Narthax with Narthex.

Page 4 replace braken with bracken.

Page 5 replace trist with tryst.

Page 7 replace staticly with statically

Page 9 replace Preistess’ with Priestess’

Page 10 replace hallwall with hallway.

Page 10 replace hallays with hallways.

Page 10 replace snctuary with sanctuary. Teaches me to try writing after midnight. :)

Page 11 replace sceptre with scepter.

I've updated the post that my original adventure was in. The new one is R4, hopefully it will be able to pass scrutiny. Please let me know if it is not up to the job.
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MinkyBoodle
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Re: The Dark Temple CONTEST ENTRY THREAD

Post by MinkyBoodle »

With much thanks to Al for the earlier help, I've made the suggested changes, as well as caught a few more editing errors (such as misspelling lycanthropes and a few other grammatical oopsies). I also named a previously unnamed room entry and reworked a little bit of the treasure (started to feel like the players were getting shorted on actual money).

So, here's Release 3. As always, feel free to look over and tell me if anything else seems off or needs fixed. Thanks.

EDIT: Attached the correct file.
Attachments
Farin's-Folly-r3.odt
(259.57 KiB) Downloaded 246 times
Last edited by MinkyBoodle on Wed Sep 18, 2019 11:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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"If I were you I'd stay away from thoughts like that."
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chiisu81
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Re: The Dark Temple CONTEST ENTRY THREAD

Post by chiisu81 »

Minky: you need to name your adventure and rename the file with it. I know, it can often be the hardest thing to come up with (I'm still trying to come up with the name of my slowly-congealing entry!).
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AlMan
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Re: The Dark Temple CONTEST ENTRY THREAD

Post by AlMan »

Minky,
It looks like you attached the original file instead of your new entry. Give it another shot, its all OK.
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MinkyBoodle
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Re: The Dark Temple CONTEST ENTRY THREAD

Post by MinkyBoodle »

AlMan wrote: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:24 pm Minky,
It looks like you attached the original file instead of your new entry. Give it another shot, its all OK.
Oh sweet baby crocodile, I sure did. This, children, is exactly why you do not attempt to do multiple things all at once, especially when not fully awake. The correct file is in the earlier post now.
chiisu81 wrote: Wed Sep 18, 2019 11:33 am Minky: you need to name your adventure and rename the file with it. I know, it can often be the hardest thing to come up with (I'm still trying to come up with the name of my slowly-congealing entry!).
But just imagine how easy the adventure would be for the players if the dungeon isn't stocked or anything. ;)
"My love is my sword."
"If I were you I'd stay away from thoughts like that."
-Dekar and Guy, Lufia II
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teaman
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Re: The Dark Temple CONTEST ENTRY THREAD

Post by teaman »

MinkyBoodle wrote: Wed Sep 18, 2019 11:37 pm
AlMan wrote: Wed Sep 18, 2019 12:24 pm Minky,
It looks like you attached the original file instead of your new entry. Give it another shot, its all OK.
Oh sweet baby crocodile, I sure did. This, children, is exactly why you do not attempt to do multiple things all at once, especially when not fully awake. The correct file is in the earlier post now.
chiisu81 wrote: Wed Sep 18, 2019 11:33 am Minky: you need to name your adventure and rename the file with it. I know, it can often be the hardest thing to come up with (I'm still trying to come up with the name of my slowly-congealing entry!).
But just imagine how easy the adventure would be for the players if the dungeon isn't stocked or anything. ;)
"You find an empty room, and another one. Hey, this one's empty too."

It's like Congress on recess.

Seriously, best of luck to everyone on their writing endeavors.
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AlMan
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Re: The Dark Temple CONTEST ENTRY THREAD

Post by AlMan »

MinkyBoodle wrote: Wed Sep 18, 2019 11:37 pm But just imagine how easy the adventure would be for the players if the dungeon isn't stocked or anything. ;)
Hmmm, I may have to do that some time, just give a description of the rooms and have nothing in the place. Any thing that moves is just from the wind of a storm. Have several 'paranormal' knocks and bangs, but it turns out to be raccoons or opossums hiding in the building and knocking into things. Even mice in the walls. Have another crash and its just the roof caving in from a branch, falling due to the storm outside. No shadows, no skeletons, no ghosts just their own paranoia setting in. :D I know I'm going to do for Halloween now. :lol: (manically)
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teaman
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Re: The Dark Temple CONTEST ENTRY THREAD

Post by teaman »

AlMan wrote: Thu Sep 19, 2019 11:09 am
MinkyBoodle wrote: Wed Sep 18, 2019 11:37 pm But just imagine how easy the adventure would be for the players if the dungeon isn't stocked or anything. ;)
Hmmm, I may have to do that some time, just give a description of the rooms and have nothing in the place. Any thing that moves is just from the wind of a storm. Have several 'paranormal' knocks and bangs, but it turns out to be raccoons or opossums hiding in the building and knocking into things. Even mice in the walls. Have another crash and its just the roof caving in from a branch, falling due to the storm outside. No shadows, no skeletons, no ghosts just their own paranoia setting in. :D I know I'm going to do for Halloween now. :lol: (manically)
And then ten beholders in the last room.

That'll learn 'em!
Teaman is the sole proprietor of Sharp Mountain Games at roll20 and DTRPG

https://marketplace.roll20.net/browse/p ... tain-games
http://drivethrurpg.com/browse/pub/8418 ... tain-Games
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