Terror in Tosasth

[leon]

Also, it seems like Water Weirds were left out of WOTC 3E. When my players encountered his monster in the tomb it was the second time they'd fought a water weird, and in the mean time, the guy playing the cleric had remembered or figured out this way to defeat them. It was an exciting moment. It's sad that some designer specifically removed that use of the spell.

[JugglinDan]

The Irinduis Family Tomb

1. Sleeping Zombies:

"Every time the party enters, 1 in 6 the zombies awake."

This is somewhat clear, yet contradictory. Consider adding "there is a chance".

Instead of triggering on a party, consider triggering on an individual but only once per round.

So, you are suggesting something like:
"Every time someone enters, there is a 1 in 6 chance the zombies awake."

That seems clearer to me.

[leon]

This is an example where a rough note wasn't edited into a real sentence. The idea is walking around in this area might get the zombies up. Hopefully they wake up after people have walked by a few times. Maybe they wake up just as a weakened party is retreating. A full turn of searching ought to reveal the bodies, maybe even allow bashing in their heads before they can stand up. I'll tweak the text next time I work on a release.

[leon]

The top post is updated with Release 26. It includes small text changes based on feedback from Dan and Seven. I put boxed text before every tomb intro, and I added some text about checking for wandering monsters while boulders are being cleared or that big iron plate is being smashed open.

[Seven]

The Irinduis Family Tomb
8. Gellybones:

"Seven skeletons with transparent bones march around a pentagram chiseled in the floor."

Maybe just "Seven transparent skeletons"?

10. Black Knight:
2 Mummies*: AC 17 (m),

What's the (m) for?

A. Ethohin:

Would be nice to provide the inventory of Ethohin Manor.

C. Galmire:

Same.

E. Amras:

Consider still having a box text for poor desecrated Amras. He probably has more to tell than the others.

[toddlyons]

What's the (m) for?

Magic weapon required to hit.

[leon]

Maybe a note like "Precise inventories are listed in Streets of Tosasth / Other Notable Landmarks section"?

The story of Amras must be pretty interesting given this one tomb has been robbed. Maybe it was more about desecration by members of his own family. Alternatively, he might have risen up as a ghoul or a vampire. There's room on the page for another paragraph.

[Seven]

The Nelaser Family Tomb

Introduction

Does boiling blood actually accomplish anything here?

1. Lord Hilbore:

"Some devils kill with arrows, some they kill with traps."

Is the bad syntax intentional? I can't decide if I would drop "they".

"He may threaten anyone with the lever"

It feels like it would be better to use "Hilbore" before switching to pronoun as the previous paragraph wasn't about him.

"he can readily produce fireballs to anyone within range."

"produce" is probably not the best choice here. Maybe "hurl fireballs at".

"Every round, 1 in 6 chance the boulder crashes down."

It's a little broken here. "Every round, there is a 1 in 6 chance that the boulder crashes down."

2. Bone Golem:

"A four-armed skeleton stands on a platform with a brass plaque: Nelaser. It holds four swords."

If someone was to read that to me, I would think that the plaque says "Nelaser. It holds four swords". So maybe, "A four-armed skeleton holding four unsheated swords stands..."

"it will seek to stop the disturbance."

I think you probably mean it will attack anything that moves until it stops moving.
"Stopping a disturbance" is more like interrupting a bar brawl.

3. Gellybones:

"skeletons with translucent bones"

I much prefer "translucent skeletons". Also, the description should accent the skeleton gear which is much easier to see.

5. Giant Rats:

There is a large room here which could be described. "Maybe there is some faint noises as the party approaches.

8. Flame Salamander:

"A flame-red snake with arms and a dragon head looks you over."

Arms or legs?

[leon]

Does boiling blood actually accomplish anything here?

It opens the door, but I guess I didn't say that explicitly, so...

Beside it is a small dish with instructions: boil blood to enter. A lightning bolt instantly strikes any who touch the door, doing 2d6 points of damage. The door swings open if blood is placed in the dish and boiled from the heat of a torch or other small flame. The door may also be opened with a knock spell.

"Some devils kill with arrows, some they kill with traps."

Is the bad syntax intentional? I can't decide if I would drop "they".

It's intentional. "They" is the subject (devils). "Some" is the object in both sentences. (And that should be a period, not a comma). Less poetically:

Devils kill some [people] with arrows.
They kill some [people] with traps.

"He may threaten anyone with the lever"

It feels like it would be better to use "Hilbore" before switching to pronoun as the previous paragraph wasn't about him.

Yep. "Lord Hilbore may threaten anyone with pulling the lever..."

"it will seek to stop the disturbance."

I think you probably mean it will attack anything that moves until it stops moving.
"Stopping a disturbance" is more like interrupting a bar brawl.

Well, it's OK with people moving by calmly. "Any rushed movements or violence stirs it to action, where it will seek to stop the disturbance by attacking until any agitated movement ceases."

3. Gellybones:

"skeletons with translucent bones"

I much prefer "translucent skeletons". Also, the description should accent the skeleton gear which is much easier to see.

What gear?

5. Giant Rats:

There is a large room here which could be described. "Maybe there is some faint noises as the party approaches.

"Giant rats dash in and out of view around corners, left and right. Occasionally, one crashes into a pile of debris, exploding a nose-stinging cloud of foul dust into the air."

8. Flame Salamander:

"A flame-red snake with arms and a dragon head looks you over."

Arms or legs?

Well, the rules say these guys only have forelimbs. My drawing has back legs. I'll tweak it be

Devastating heat stops your approach. A soothing yawn comes before a greeting. A dragon-like head on the long body of a snake rears up on muscular forelimbs to peer down at you before uttering an incomprehensible string of grunts and growls.

Those who understand the tongue of flame salamander understand the words to be “oh, to what dreadful task am I appointed now?”

Top post updated.

[Solomoriah]

Unless the amount of blood is small, boiling will take some time, a few rounds at least. I'd suggest specifying 2d6 rounds or something like that, which allows for the variable amount of blood as well as the random source of heat.

Most of the time it won't matter, but sometimes you just need to get the dang door open quickly, at which point that die roll becomes quite dramatic (or even better, don't show them the results, make them wait round by round while the reason they need it open quickly is moving closer and/or eating them).