Solomoriah wrote: ↑Mon Feb 20, 2023 8:03 pm
So the new release has the art more or less as you've just indicated; you should take a look, obviously.
If you'd like to write a downloads page blurb, feel free to post it here and I'll copy it over.
Let's go with "This mega-module collects 18 adventures plus procedures for exploring an ancient city filled with undead."
I see we now have a big, gray box on page 53.
Everything looks good, except in a few cases the illustrations are pretty big, bigger than the physical drawings. They were OK at 3 inches, but I'm not liking them at double size. I'm thinking of the bow on page 25 and the sword on page 35.
I'm finding it hard to justify keeping the art completely my own. I don't want much better art to wait on the sidelines. Let's open it up for contributions. Those small filler images I listed yesterday aren't specific to the narrative and can be replaced. Even the images that do match the nearby text could be redone if the subject/composition is more or less the same.
I solemnly swear to fulfill the game master's oath to the best of my ability and judgment.
Solomoriah wrote: ↑Mon Feb 20, 2023 8:03 pm
So the new release has the art more or less as you've just indicated; you should take a look, obviously.
If you'd like to write a downloads page blurb, feel free to post it here and I'll copy it over.
Let's go with "This mega-module collects 18 adventures plus procedures for exploring an ancient city filled with undead."
Done.
leon wrote: ↑Tue Feb 21, 2023 1:10 pm
I see we now have a big, gray box on page 53.
Yeah, hoping to fill it with something.
leon wrote: ↑Tue Feb 21, 2023 1:10 pm
Everything looks good, except in a few cases the illustrations are pretty big, bigger than the physical drawings. They were OK at 3 inches, but I'm not liking them at double size. I'm thinking of the bow on page 25 and the sword on page 35.
Gotcha. I went back to the original high-res scans and was able to get sharp copies, but I haven't looked at them in print so yeah, they may not be okay larger. I'll drop those two if you want. I don't have a place that specifically needs them at one column (1c) size right now, but of course they'll stay in the folder ready for action.
leon wrote: ↑Tue Feb 21, 2023 1:10 pm
I'm finding it hard to justify keeping the art completely my own. I don't want much better art to wait on the sidelines. Let's open it up for contributions. Those small filler images I listed yesterday aren't specific to the narrative and can be replaced. Even the images that do match the nearby text could be redone if the subject/composition is more or less the same.
Are you wanting to replace your art because of your perception of the quality, or just because we could still use some to help manage the flow? I like that you have illustrated your own module, but it's a BIG module to do all on your own, and I don't mind a bit inviting other artists in if you want. I also have art in my stockpile that could be used to fill in, but I didn't want to change the artistic composition without your agreement.
Solomoriah wrote: ↑Tue Feb 21, 2023 6:44 pm
Are you wanting to replace your art because of your perception of the quality, or just because we could still use some to help manage the flow? I like that you have illustrated your own module, but it's a BIG module to do all on your own, and I don't mind a bit inviting other artists in if you want. I also have art in my stockpile that could be used to fill in, but I didn't want to change the artistic composition without your agreement.
I'm only worried about the quality of the artwork itself, not the sharpness of the images, and not that I think the flow needs work. On flow, I defer to you. Let's say we dropped the bow and sword. Regarding images, would the book be print ready if only it had an image for page 53? If so, I'm game for working up one more big image to fill that gray box, then we call it good.
If we want to keep polishing it with new or updated images, that's fine with me, too.
What's going to make the book the best it can be within the amount of effort we can afford to put into it?
I solemnly swear to fulfill the game master's oath to the best of my ability and judgment.
I'm not bothered by white space at the bottom of a last page. I'm far more concerned with reducing page flipping in play; stocked areas and encounters should be all on one page, or at worst on facing pages. This is my primary goal when doing a layout pass.
Art should be decorative, and illustrative if at all possible, but I'll admit I request art specifically to manage flow in service to that primary goal.
As I said, I'll drop those pics you felt were too large if you want. The large gray box on 53 was actually not meant to be quite that large; the "Hydra Statue" room should have been on 53, with the graves section all on the next page. The gray box should actually be 6.75" x 4" in size; or, 3.28" by up to 8.6" high (a full column!)
OR: A 3.28" wide by 4.6" to 5.74" high image on page 52, and a 3.28" x 3.28" (square) image on page 53, will also "fix" the flow.
I don't want to add an image on 51 as there is already one there, and I think it may look crowded.
leon wrote: ↑Tue Feb 21, 2023 9:02 pm
What's going to make the book the best it can be within the amount of effort we can afford to put into it?
Remember that our projects are endless. What is "enough" for the first print release is not "final" in any real sense; if we want, we can continue polishing something forever.
The main question I have for you is, do you want to invite other artists to contribute? Or do you want to keep it "yours?" I think only J.D. Neal ever did adventures with as much of his art as you have put in of yours, but even he did not do his own cover or splash art.
I can't draw, I just can't. So I accept that my books must be illustrated by someone else. Given that, I like having a "salad" of multiple artist's works to give a diverse and varied view of my adventures.
Solomoriah wrote: ↑Tue Feb 21, 2023 9:23 pm
Art should be decorative, and illustrative if at all possible, but I'll admit I request art specifically to manage flow in service to that primary goal.
Good. I'm with you on that.
Solomoriah wrote: ↑Tue Feb 21, 2023 9:28 pm
The main question I have for you is, do you want to invite other artists to contribute? Or do you want to keep it "yours?"
I feel better about saying we should a) remove the bow and the sword and b) I'll put together one or two images based on your dimensions, and c) we'll call that good for now. There's always time for more polish later.
Thanks for helping me think it through.
I solemnly swear to fulfill the game master's oath to the best of my ability and judgment.
Leon, I got to Dacha's Mine, here is what I've noted that you may want to look at. This is just the suggestions that I have for you to look at. I've got others suggestions for corrections that I didn't put into place (that will be in the next posting) and the final posting are the corrections that I did. I'll add a version 21.2 to the first post in this thread. I don't have rights to change the version on the downloads page.
Suggested changes
There are many paragraphs that use different fonts and font sizes from Century Gothic 9.5 pt. to Adventure BF 10 pt. Suggest making sure all the fonts and font sizes are consistent.
Page 8 (4) and page 9 (5) – Saint Orlan – Paragraph arrangement.
Suggest moving the story of St. Orlan (currently paragraph 2) to be the first paragraph then move on to the description of the town.
Pages 12 (8) to 19 (15) – Mountain Manor of Elab Jarr – Room numbering.
The Ground Floor is numbered 1-5 and 14-16 the Upper Catacombs are numbered 6-13. Players would have to go through room 14 to get to room 6. Suggest changing room numbers to be 1-8 for the Ground Level with Room 8 being the storage room currently numbered 14, and then, 9-16 for the Upper Catacombs. The Lower Catacombs can keep their numbering.
Page 12 (8) – 1. Kitchen – Monster stat block
For Cookie the Skeleton suggest putting a blurb like we put in other adventure modules that give the skeleton’s special save vs. weapons. After the AC entry put (half damage from edged weapons, one point only from arrows or bolts). Or put the same paragraph that is on page 15 (11) for the skeletons there.
Page 14 (10) – 4. Bathing Pool – Monster stat blocking
Since it is mentioned that the Glass Jelly is “unusually small” should the HD be adjusted to one or two and then adjusting the XP for the creature. HD 4* should be for a full size glass jelly.
Page 15 (11) – 7. Ossuary – Monster stat bock
#At are now supposed to have the weapon listed. If there is more than one attack form Damage will also give the weapon name.
Was: … #At 1, Dam 1d6, …
Change to: … #At 1 weapon name, Dam 1d6, …
Page 15 (11) – 8. Basalt Sarcophagus – Boxed text
Incomplete sentence, what is protruding from the sarcophagus?
Currently: On the opposite side a large protrudes from the surface nearly enough to grasp your hand around.
Is this the sword that is mentioned in the obscure detail 3?
Page 15 (11) – 8. Basalt Sarcophagus – Obscure Detail
Has a longsword +0 mentioned, is this supposed to be a regular longsword or does it have a + feature for damage or + more vs a specific enemy? Or does it have Galad (Elvish for light) written on the blade?
Page 16 (12) – 11. Granite Sarcophagus – Monster attack description.
Has 10% per bite of contracting ghoul fever. Core Rules has this as 5% per bite. Basic Fantasy Core Rules page 96 – 97, “Each time a humanoid is bitten, there is a 5% chance of the infection being passed.” A ghast bite is listed as having a 10% per bite chance of contracting Ghast Fever.
Page 17 (13) – 12. Granite Sarcophagus – Paragraph 2
Number of rot grubs, first sentence mentions “100 in number” the last sentence mentions “ten rot grubs”. Is it up to 10 rot grubs per character or are the counts off? The number of HP boxes may need to be adjusted if there are more than 10 rot grubs.
Page 18 (14) – 17. Smoke Trap and Page 19 (15) – 20. Back Entrance – Thief stat block
The thief in both rooms is named “Manny” is this the same person? Also note the next suggestion.
Page 19 (15) – 20. Back Entrance – Description
The description is from the point of the characters coming in from 21. Bridge. What happens if the party comes in from the door?
Page 26 (22) – Second Floor – Paragraph 1
Make sure the distances given are correct. To me it looks like there are 50’ sections between the floors of this tower. That would make the shaft fall 100 foot from the second level to the basement, and since the first level door is 10 foot above the ground would make the outside doorway on the second level 60 foot to the ground.
Page 27 – 8. Zombie Containment – Monster stat block
#At are now supposed to have the weapon listed. If there is more than one attack form Damage will also give the weapon name.
Was: … #At 1, Dam 1d8, …
Change to: … #At 1 weapon name, Dam 1d8, …
Page 28 (24) – 11. Rampaging Bone Golem – Monster stat block
For bone golems may want to include a special information paragraph since these creatures need a magic weapon to be hit and since they are not ‘undead’ can’t be turned by a cleric.
Page 36 (32) – 3. Abeb’s Lair – Boxed Text 2
Which correction is correct for the first sentence.
Option 1: Inside, a fine coffin with a religious engraving is left open.
Option 2: Inside, a fine coffin with religious engravings is left open.
Page 36 (32) – 3. Abeb’s Lair – Boxed Text 2 and Paragraph 4
In the boxed text the creature in the coffin is said to be in “priestly garb” in paragraph 4 the creature is said to be wearing “ragged sailing garb”. Which is correct?
Page 38 (34) and Page 39 (35) – Rooms 9 and 10.
Renumber so that coming from Room 6 the next room to the west is Room 9 and then Room 10 being the most westerly room.
Page 40 (36) – 12. Ebahi’s Lair – Rats special attack paragraphs
May want to include description of the disease caught by being biten by normal rats. May also want to remove the sword image from Page 39 (35) so these 6 lines are moved up to the previous page and this page is then dropped.
Page 41 (37) to Page 49 (45) – The Ebahi Family Tomb – Room numbering
In the caverns the numbering of the rooms is very arbitrary and doesn’t flow from room to room. Suggest renumbering the rooms so that as the party goes from one location to another the GM doesn’t have to search for the next room.
Page 43 (39) – 8 Tapestry – Monster special attack paragraph
May want to mention the ‘*’ in the damage for bump to say that it is non-lethal.
Page 44 (40) – 11. Hell’s Forge – Monster HP blocks
In previous Hellhound encounter you included blocks for breaths for each creature. May want to do that here for consistency. These will need 6 blocks each.
Page 46 (42) – 16. Ladder Access and 17. Damp Room – Additional map
May want to have a 3d map done to show the relationship of rooms 16 and 17.
Page 46 (42) – 18. Art Room – Paragraph 1
The illustration currently at the bottom of the first column of page 45 (41) probably neeeds to be here since it is a depiction of what is described in this room.
Page 47 (43) – 20. Weretiger Camp and 21. Stone Living Statue – Confusion
Room 20 mentions the weretigers being unable to get past the living statue in room 21. On the map Room 21 is not near room 20.
Page 65 (61) – 1. Sleeping Zombies – Monster stat block
#At are now supposed to have the weapon listed. If there is more than one attack form Damage will also give the weapon name.
Was: … #At 1, Dam 1d8, …
Change to: … #At 1 weapon name, Dam 1d8, …
Page 67 (63) – 7. Centipedes – confusion
In paragraph 2 mentions the poison damaging CON and the monster special attack paragraph shows a loss on the STR ability.
Page 67 (63) – 9. Ghost Shrooms – monster stat block
Suggest including the number of stalks in the name like Ghost Shroom 1 Main Stalk and 7 Smaller Stalks. HD looks confusing suggest using 4HD (Main) 2HD (Small). Dam to remove special use Dam 1d4 to entangle and 1d4 per round until freed.
Page 67 (63) – 9. Ghost Shrooms – monster special attack paragraph.
Mention that small stalks are Clerically Turned as a 2HD monster and the main stalk is Clerically Turned as a 4 HD creature.
Page 76 (72) – Map of Nelaser Family Tomb
There is no room 7 on the map.
Page 79 (75) – Wandering Monsters in Caves – Chain Devil
There isn’t a Chain Devil in the Core Rules (3rd Ed or 4th Ed) or any of the Field Guides (1, 2, or 3). There are Chain Golems, Ice Devils, and Spined Devils. If a number is used as the first word of a sentence the number is written out. Rearrange sentence so number isn’t first.
Currently: … +2 Init. 10’ range. …
Page 80 (76) – 3. Murals – monster stat block
#At are now supposed to have the weapon listed. If there is more than one attack form Damage will also give the weapon name.
Was: … #At 1, Dam 1d8, …
Change to: … #At 1 weapon name, Dam 1d8, …
Page 85 (81) – Crypt
Where are the crypts compared to the mine?
Page 173 (169) – Cactus Man – Attack
Should the hug attack be similar to a ‘bear hug’ where when two claw attacks strike the hug is automatically counted too?
Page 176 (172) – Dogboy – XP
Core Rules (3rd Ed – page 42 or 4th Ed – page 49) has a 3 HD monster with an XP of 145, adjust to the Core Rules. The Save As should also match the HD level, suggest changing to Fighter: 3
